We have all read that article titled "10 things every wife does that will ruin her marriage." One of the top things on every list says "using sex as a bargaining tool". This has never made any sense to me because women need sex just as much as men. How can you hold out on your husband when your mad? That is a disservice for you both. One of the other things it says is to be direct and talk about whatever is bothering you. See women are not wired this way. If something is bothering us we shut down. We do this to think about what is bothering us. Contrary to popular belief, we don't like to argue and we don't think we're good at it either. You have to remember, most of us married our best friend. This isn't just something we say, it's very true. We married you because you are the first person we want to tell our news to. We can't wait to get on the phone and share the news about our raise or new promotion with you. This is important to remember because for men you think we don't care about your day. You aren't as excited to share good news with us because you think we don't want to hear about it. We want to hear all about your day both the good and the bad. This is how best friends interact. If anything awesome happens to me during my day, you are the first person I want to tell. The problem we have with this is when you don't share things about your day with us. I hate to hear things from other people when I should have heard it from you in the first place. It creates an instant disconnect.
Just as men are very visual, women are deep thinkers. We need that emotional connection just as much as you need nudity. We need you to listen to the words that are coming out of our mouths just as much as you need a blow job. If you start looking at your marriage more simply, it will all make sense.
Here's a surprise...............We are not as complex as you think. You don't have to figure out women. It's really not as hard as everyone makes it. Most of us would rather spend time with you than receive an expensive gift. Now I said "most of us" I can't speak for everybody but I will say that most of us just want some special time alone with you. That expensive gift is great when we are showing it off to our friends but it can't replace snuggling up next to the fire watching a movie in your pajamas with your husband. The familiar jingle "He went to Jared" makes most of us roll our eyes. When you plan something in advance it means a lot to us. It doesn't even matter what you plan but the fact that you planned something means the world to us. It signify's several things to us. First, it shows us that you were thinking of us. Ah that's so sweet. Then, it says that you took the time out of your day to plan something special for us. That's a real big deal considering you are really busy. Lastly, it shows us that we really do mean the world to you. This is very important because we love to be your world. Every women wants to be the center of her mans universe.
The bottom line is every relationship is different. You have to remember that you get what you put into it. If you want it to be awesome, make it awesome. It's really all up to you. If you do nothing, you will eventually have nothing.
